Entries from October 2008

October 14, 2008

T.O. HOLDS PRESS CONFERENCE TO INFORM MEDIA THAT THEY ARE NOT PAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION TO HIM

IRVING, TX – On Monday, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens assembled reporters and various media members to chastise them on the coverage, or lack thereof, he has been getting.
 
“I shouldn’t have to do this” started the obviously irritated Owens.  “It’s really kind of embarrassing that you all have put me in this position” said [...]

October 7, 2008

Patrick Ewing files restraining order Against Jane Goodall

NEW YORK- On Wednesday, former New York Knicks All-Star Patrick Ewing filed for a restraining order against famed anthropologist and primatologist Jane Goodall. Ewing reported that Goodall has been stalking him for the past 6 weeks. Ewing said that he caught Goodall hiding in the bushes of his Connecticut home on Sunday, and that was [...]

October 2, 2008

AL DAVIS, RAIDERS SEARCHING FOR SUCCESSOR TO NEXT HEAD COACH

OAKLAND, CA — Speaking via telephone, Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis said now that former head coach Lane Kiffin is gone, he can focus on and looks forward to firing his replacement.
 
“The next man we bring in is going to have to be able to follow orders and do as he is told; like a [...]