Gus Frerotte admits to being mildly retarded

Minneapolis, MN – In an interview appearing Thursday in The Minneapolis Star Tribune, Minneapolis Vikings back-up quarterback Gus Frerotte said that he has known for quite some time that his mental abilities were far less than that of an average person.  Frerotte, who’s teammates have nicknamed him “Corky”, may be best remembered for slamming his head into a concrete wall for a touchdown celebration; where he sustained a concussion and sprained neck, says he’s not sure if he’s been mentally retarded from birth or if it was brought on by a lifelong series of poor decisions.

 

“My dad used to work in home remodeling, and at night I would sneak out to his workshop and drink paint” said Frerotte, “and when I was 14, me and some of the other 4th graders would play this game where I’d hit myself in the head with a baseball bat really hard, and then they would all laugh.”

 

Frerotte says he began to be suspicious while in college at the University of Tulsa, where he set several weight-room records, but that the coach said the records wouldn’t count because Frerotte possessed what he called “retard-strength”.

 

“I know that my mental handicap may never let me be as good as a Tavarius Jackson, but if I keep trying, I know I can be a really good quarterback someday”.

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9 Comments

Filed under NFL, Sports

9 responses to “Gus Frerotte admits to being mildly retarded

  1. Brandon

    Isn’t Tulsa some brain school?

  2. CSE

    But has the writer of this post admitted to being *completely* retarded?

  3. Holy sh*t

    Wow is this bad. It’s okay to be mean in articles like this if they’re funny…but this is way off.

    Mean, stupid, tired, not-funny.

    Just stop it. You’re making the world worse.

  4. Solo C.

    wow this is my football coach. this article might hold some truth

  5. Dan

    This is simply the worst article ever

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