Tunishu, Nigeria — The Tunishi Tribal council has solicited the help of Dallas Cowboy’s cornerback, Adam “PacMan” Jones to help solve the small tribe’s 20 year rain drought. The troubled cornerback (most recently in the news for incidents at a Las Vegas strip club which resulted in the death of a club bouncer and serious injury of another) is now in the news for potential philanthropic reasons. What caught the Tunishi’s interest in the story is Jones’ uncanny ability to make it rain on command. “We believe this Pac Man should bring his make rain skills to our village and put end to our curse of no rain” said tribe leader Ungawi Mooshoo. “Our children are starving for we have no fertile land to farm, If Pac Man can make it rain he should do so here”, he concluded.
The Tunishi are offering a onetime deal for Jones’ rain making services that includes a newly printed 1 trillion dollar bill ($1.20 US), a virgin, and a can of olives if he can successfully bring rain to the region. Jones’ agent Michael Huyghue told the Sporting News that they were a long way from finalizing a deal with the Tunishi and that everything to this point was all speculation. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell appeared reluctant to endorse the goodwill trip given Jones’ problems in the past. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea to turn Adam loose down there..god knows what he could get into” Goodell said, ” It’s one thing to volunteer your time at a Boys club, but having the fate of an entire tribe of people in your hands is a whole other issue”, he added.