Patrick Ewing files restraining order Against Jane Goodall

NEW YORK- On Wednesday, former New York Knicks All-Star Patrick Ewing filed for a restraining order against famed anthropologist and primatologist Jane Goodall. Ewing reported that Goodall has been stalking him for the past 6 weeks. Ewing said that he caught Goodall hiding in the bushes of his Connecticut home on Sunday, and that was the last straw. “I ran out back, waving my arms in the air Ewing in the Gardenand yelling” reported Ewing, “but she just averted eye contact and remained motionless”.

 

The ex-NBAer also reported that not only has she been at his residence, but that she has been following him around town as well. Said Ewing “I went to the Piggly Wiggly to grab a few things, and there she was, over in produce, squatted down beside the bananas, watching me and writing in her notebook”.  

Attempts to contact Goodall have been unsuccessful. Assistants at the Jane Goodall Institute for Wildlife Research stated that Dr. Goodall was away on a field study and wasn’t expected to return for a couple of weeks.

 

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4 Comments

Filed under basketball, Humor, Sports

4 responses to “Patrick Ewing files restraining order Against Jane Goodall

  1. Ick

    Patrick Ewing should be glad anyone wants to stalk him!!! LOL

  2. Pingback: Thanks, Ick!

  3. Mrs. Ick

    Isnt Jane Goodall dead??? (cocks head to the side and twirls hair around finger) So she’s stalking him from beyond the grave?? (pops gum) No wait! Thats Dian Fossey.. nevermind.. (pops gum)

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