Category Archives: Boxing

Cuban Olympian confused, angry after defection to China

Ugás in the ring during the 2008 Olympics
Ugás in the ring during the 2008 Olympics

Cuban boxer, Youdenis Ugas’ plan to defect from Cuba hit a snag on Monday as he learned that he had defected to a country with a similar communist government to his native Cuba. 

After years of training in the boxing ring as a way out of Cuba, Ugas has now found himself making SpongeBob dolls for K-Mart in the central China city of Chongqing as a government worker.      

“This thing, it is a terrible thing”; replied Ugas from his work encampment.  “I train my whole life for this and now, I make the SpongeBob thing.  What is this SpongeBob?  It wears a tie but is a sponge?  I can’t believe this!  What kind of *** damn deal I have now?”

In a letter to the Spanish language newspaper, Juventud Rebelde (Havana), Ugas wrote that he had heard from Castro’s radio speeches as a kid that China was a great place and that they had a great government but after two weeks without tortillas, and with 16 hour work days, he’s rethought this and is ready to get home to his south Cuba hut. 

An unnamed Cuban Olympian tells ESPN Deportes that; “Youdenis was excited about getting out.  He said that it was his big chance… it was all very exciting.  He’s no idiot though.  He said if China isn’t the paradise Castro said it was, North Korea was just over a fence.  He’ll be fine.

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Lennox Lewis’ children missing; Mike Tyson brought in for questioning

London, England —  On Sunday, Officials from the London Police Department and Scotland Yard took Mike Tyson in for questioning in thedisappearance of the children of Lennox Lewis. Tyson was in town for a sports memorabilia show just three hours before the children were noticed missing.  

“Mr. Tyson is a person of interest due in large part to his statements previously made regarding Mr. Lennox and his children; stated Sir Brian Nelson, Assistant to the Minister of International Crimes Committed Against Royal Academy Athletes. Such statements as; “Lennox Lewis, I’m coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah! My main objective is to be professional but to kill him. I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.”

Calls to Don King were not immediately returned. 

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