NEW YORK, NY – Fox television’s NFL analyst Terry Bradshaw admitted this week that his colleague’s obsession with his own well-manicured coif is becoming quite annoying. Former NFL head coach Jimmy Johnson’s perfectly placed head of hair was a staple during the early ‘90’s as he was winning games and Super Bowls with the Dallas Cowboys. Now it’s just a nuisance.
“That guy spends more time on his hair then most women” said the agitated Bradshaw. “He has this little homo hairdresser that runs out during every commercial break and sprays White Rain all over his head and then pets it like it’s a freakin’ lapdog.”
Johnson has been known to try to intimidate others with his hair, especially those who are folliclely challenged.
“I hear him bossing around other bald guys in the office, but his helmet hair doesn’t impress me” stated Bradshaw. “This guys got a whole team of hair stylists following him around 24/7, it unbelievable”.
“All I need is Pro-Cuts every couple weeks, and I’m good to go” the excited Bradshaw continued “Pro-Cuts is where it’s at, my man! Woooooooooo!”
Just then, a shiny red ball bounced in front Bradshaw and he promptly jumped up and chased it out of sight.